Super devastated 😭😭

I dont know why my body plays with me..... i was late 4 days ...never usually late always right on the dot for my AF..... i thought this was my month.....and this morning i started . we been trying for 4yrs+ to have a baby :( i am 30yrs old i feel like like my time is coming to an end of trying to have a baby and just give up"( .... all i want is a baby and theres tons of people out there that dont even deserve to be moms...all these things we see on the news of moms abandoning thier babies or on drugs. ..... ughhhhh i just needed to vent............. i am truly sad and devastated my heart hurts.. and i think im done trying 😒😒😭😭 every month is the same thing ...hopeing its my month and im tired of hopeing and thinking im pregnant and BAM i go to the bathroom and see that bright red on the piece of toilet paper and start crying ........