Advice???

I got pregnant a month before I turned 14 and when I should have been about five months I started to spot, the next night contractions began, my water even broke! I lost clots the size of a roast, like what you can get at the store? And bled for 6 months afterwards.  Anyways, I was in such a hurry to get rid of the mess and on top of being completely freaked out I didn't even look for the baby or anything. I never really thought about it then I was ok that it had happened.. But now that I'm almost 21 with two beautiful children I find myself thinking about it, and getting upset about what could have been he/she would be 5/6 yrs old. Not only that but about how absolutely stupid and immature I was being about my own health, going through that without telling anyone, seeing a doctor nothing. Anyways I've been thinking about telling my mom? Seeing as I have not told anyone. What is yalls opinion on telling her should I? You think it might make me feel better, I feel as if I have this huge block sitting on my shoulder that needs to be removed but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to go about it..any advice?? Sorry for the long a** post!