How much do you know about your husband's past?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 6 1/2 years (5 married). He's never really opened up about past relationships except for one in high school. I knew about that one because we are now all friends.

But this weekend, while cleaning out old files and photos, I discovered letters from an old girlfriend of his from about a year before we even met. He wasn't keeping them for any reason; I don't even think he knew they were in there.

When I was asking him about the relationship (because there were some questionable things), he clammed up. All he said was this woman was a fraud so I know she must have hurt him bad.

I started asking about other relationships and he completely shut me down.  Should I be worried or just forget it because it's the past?

By the way, I didn't date much before we met so I don't have much of a past and he knows that.

Answer

We met in our late 20s. I don't know everything about him. Probably never will because past stuff is irrelevant to our future. Same with his knowledge of me.

I don't have any questions tho either. I feel good about it.

Answer

Hes only had two others so I know everything. Although If I cld go back I wish I never knew. Doesnt matter what happened before so I dont need to know.

Answer

I met my husband in high school I know all about him lol maybe too much

Answer

It's his past let it go! Everyone has a past.

Answer

My husband and I know everything about our past. It's not pretty but we know what each other went through and how it shaped us into the person we are today. I'm not bothered by it and he isn't either. It took some time to get to that point. If anything, hearing about the past hurt and pains makes us feel terrible. It hurts to hear how he was treated before and makes me wish I was with him then so he could avoid all that. I think it's crucial and beneficial to a real relationship but only if you have the maturity to handle it. If you find yourself getting jealous over things that happened in the past then take a step back.

Answer

I no mine used to do drugs back then. N drank alot n played music in bars. Had a gf that he was with commit suicide cause they both had a drug addition so that's what made him stop immediately.

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I know everything about my husband's past & he knows mine. I'm his first legit girlfriend, the 2nd girl he's ever had sex with. We just told stories to each other & asked "have you ever" questions all the time. My past with relationships was way more rocky than his Ive had several bfs & he's the 3rd I've slept with, but he liked asking "have you ever done this with a guy", it worked for us. We get along really well so the answers don't bug us. But don't ask questions if you don't wanna hear the answer. You may not like knowing that Jessica used to do this & he loved it & you've never done that..

Answer

Something similar happened to me while we were moving. My husband was in the Navy and he moved a few months before I did so I could finish up the school year at my job and get everything moved out of our house. I was going through some boxes he had since he was in the barracks and found a ton of letters from a girl who he had kinda dated before he went to boot camp but broke it off before he left. To me it was funny to read through and wasn't threatening at all, he totally forgot he had them and just kinda threw the box in our storage room. I got rid of all of it (after I read it) and told him about it. He told me about her, and he's told me about some other girlfriends, but I don't know everything. I really don't care to know either.

It sounds like something happened with that girl and it left a scar. I wouldn't push, it might make him frustrated. Good luck!

Answer

Quite a lot. We've known each other since we were 14. I don't know everything and it'll take a lifetime to learn most of it. I'll never know 100 percent of his life and that's okay. I know the big important things. I don't seek out the little things. I like when they're revealed to me just during every day moments.

Answer

It might be too painful for him but that doesn't necessarily mean you should be worried he has feelings for her still. My hubby had some really rough patches in his past..he was in a long distance relationship and cheated a few times. One of the girls was married at the time and she got pregnant...he never sees his daughter with her (we have a boy and a girl) and her husband claimed her as his own (they even talked about it...  I know Its a little weird) but I  know it is painful for him  and we don't talk about it too much. I know he would never leave me for her and if his daughter ever came looking for him we'd accept her with open arms. I wouldn't pry too much but be open if/when he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it. I hope this helps you....good luck to you :)

How much do you know about your husband's past?

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