My hormones are going on strike!!!!

Guinevere
I've given up on trying to tell if I'm premenstral or pregnant or something else entirely LOL!  I can make heads or tails of it. I took a test and I got a BFN. So I thought, oh. I must be pmsing. But no, I'm doing anything that I would normally go through if I were to be PMSing. If anything, I'm getting MORE symptoms that come with being pregnant.... I think?
I'm massively bloated
My chest has grown like 2 sizes,
I get bizarre food cravings that I've never had (Umm slim Jims and Nutella??? I mean it made a delicious combination, but really?!)
I hate some foods that I'd normally love (like olives)
My nausea and indigestion is going strong
I feel faint on occasion
My lower back hurts (but not as much as it did before)
My boobs hurt!!
I've been super sensitive 
And my appetite is def picking up. 
Annnnd no sign of a period or positive test. So idk. Maybe my hormones are just going on strike or something lol. Any thoughts???