I remember seeing you for the first time at the café below my dorm freshman year of college and then meeting you halloween night. And after that, we were inseparable. I remember when you were so sweet to me; when you stayed up all night to help me with my homework; when you came and cuddled with me in the scary night; when you would sit in my classes just to be next to me; when you would ride your bike downtown to get me flowers. I remember your sweetness...

         

Do you remember the nights you would cry in my arms because your father hurt you. Do you remember the times you cried to me, "he doesn't love me...why doesn't he love me?" Do you remember how much I loved you? Do you remember when you changed? Do you remember when you were upset at me because I did not come to the club and how it embarrassed you that I wasn't there to meet your friends? But you were so drunk from your robotussin drink I couldn't understand what you wanted that night...Do you remember abusing meters on the walk home because I didn't pay for my own taxi to get there when I thought you would pick me up since I was on the way? Do you remember abusing me...

   

That night bruised my soul. Your eyes were filled with rage - so much rage I could barely recognize you. I was scared. And as you continued to trip me, drag me, threaten to burn my belongings as you took out a lighter, shake me, etc., I just cried, "why are you doing this to me? I love you."  As I was still shaking in the inside, I tried to get calm as I lightly sat on your bed. You were anrgy but then suddenly switched back and laid your head on my lap and cried, "why don't you hate me? I am so sorry.." And in the morning you found a bruise on my body and you were completely ashamed. Then you took me out to the nicest dinner you'd ever paid for because I paid for all the nice things...I loved you and love never had a price...

   

You said you would never do it again. But then you did and kicked me that time. It was so bad that I bled that time and had bruises all over my body. I had bruised carvings of your fingers on my rib cages from grabbing me so tightly. It hurt. It was so bad that you thought i'd call the cops so you went to an RM and told them I attacked you from the scratch on your leg. I remember that scratch on your leg. You choked me as your legs wrapped tightly around my neck and had me hanging off the bed. I was afraid you were going to kill me, so I dug my nails in your skin (learned it from CSI). 

   

Remember when I actually got in trouble because that RM reported me and how you wanted me to say nothing? Remember when you manipulated all of my friends to think I  attacked you? You found them just so you could tell "your story." You are so fucked up in the head. You are pathetic. 

     

I never thought this would happen to me - the girl who always smiles and laughs. I tried everything to avoid guys like you. It is hard to leave your best friend when all of your happiest memories lay with them. I never thought my very first boyfriend and first love would do all of the things you did to me. I loved you but I still have yet to fall in love with someone. You never admitted to what you did. You choose to not believe that you're such a coward. But you are. You still are. You are nothing. 

   

Sincerely,

   

   

The girl who mistakenly dated you