Should I tell my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and were sexually active. He's my first serious boyfriend. When I was 7 something happened to me that to this day I still haven't told anyone about. 
I had a friend who had a lot of family problems that were hidden very well and I stayed at her house a lot. My mom paid her mom to babysit, but most of the time the girls mom would leave us home alone.  One night she had a babysitter come over to stay the night. If I had to guess I'd say she was mid to late teens. In the middle of the night I woke up and the babysitter had her pants in my pants touching my vagina and trying to get inside. I pretended to be asleep and rolled onto my stomach so that she wouldn't reach in. I never told anyone and I refused to go back to that house. Now I'm late teens and this incident still comes into my head. I'm wondering if I should tell my boyfriend? I've never told anyone before so I'm not sure that I really need to tell him

Answer

Only of you are comfortable. I had something like that happen to me and I told me boyfriend about it and he was okay and handled the information jus like I expected him to. We don't talk about it but ever once in a whole when I feel comfortable about it. It's really all it how comfortable you are with him. It toke me 2 years to tell my boyfriend

Answer

Sweetie. If you trust him and you feel comfortable telling him then you should tell him. But don't pressure yourself into telling him I think if you guys have been together for a while I think that's definitely something that you would want to share with him but if you're not comfortable sharing that with him right now then wait until you are I know for me. Telling my boyfriend about the things that have happened to me in the past help me and help him to understand that maybe something he does or a way he touches me sets off alarms I think it's definitely something that you should talk to him about but don't do it until you're completely comfortable with it. I'm sorry that it happened to you. I think you need to talk to someone and you have to move on. I definitely think that you need to get some help and talk to a therapist or your boyfriend or someone who you're comfortable with. 😊

Answer

Sexual abuse doesn't define you. I've been there and it is hard. You don't have to tell him if you aren't comfortable. Although if the abuse is affecting your relationship then you may want to so he understands. I told my BF and he is extremely supportive. For me, I think telling him helped me move past it and focus on our love and our relationship and being able to trust and feel safe. That's very important to me because I'd never been able to have that with a male before. My paternal grandfather molested me when I was 5 and when I finally told about it when I was 7 to my mom, my dad said I was a lair and never believed me. My parents had been divorced since I was 4 so it was very easy for my dad to completely disappear from my life when I was 10. I'm almost 22 and I haven't spoken to him since. It took until my late teens to finally realize that my dads reaction wasn't my fault. That nothing that happened was my fault and I wasn't tainted or forever marked as unloveable. You are a beautiful woman for surviving and being strong. If you tell your BF then he will probably see you as the same as well. We are not victims, we are survivors, we are warriors. We hold the power of our lives, not the ones who abused us.

Answer

I think it would be a good idea to tell your parents. That is serious! But I wouldn't feel obligated to tell your BF.

Answer

Honey, you need to tell someone. You should try seeing a therapist because it's still haunting you and you need help conquering it. If you want to tell him, if he's mature and cares about you then yes, but you should see a therapist indefinitely. Good luck❤️

Answer

It really helped me when I told my fiancé about my incidents. It didn't help the fact that he wanted to go smash the guys head in for hurting me.

Answer

My fiancée is the only person I've ever talked in depth with about my rape. I think it's important to talk to him and open up about it with him. It might help you let go of the memory a little.

Answer

Yes. That kind of touching can fuck you up sexually. Please talk to somebody.

Answer

I think you'll feel better by telling someone. Things like that can really rip you up inside when you were a little kid! And clearly out of your control. He'll understand and anyone else you tell will understand too

Answer

it's whatever you want to do, honey. he isn't entitled to know everything. But if you want him to

Should I tell my boyfriend?

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