(Long Rant): Dear Tennant

Yes, tennant.  You are not our room mate, you are our tennant: we own this property, the house and work shop that stand on it, the furniture and possessions that full it, it is our names written at the top of the bills and our credit that is affected when you spend your money on useless shit before paying your rent and utilities.  
Don't even try to tell me it's not useless shit. You did not need the $300+ mixer that has stood idle and unused since you purchased it; you did not need the $100 book shelf you bought simply because it was on sale.  You did not need to spend $75 on one single pan-- and before you go off about how you're a cook: remember, I've been cooking and baking much longer than you.  
Stop telling us you don't have enough to pay your rent and utilities; we see the shit you bring into the house; we know the hours you work.  Remember how much your rent was before we allowed you to move in with us?  It was more than triple what you pay here AND you make more now than you did then so don't even try to bull shit us.  Stop lying and saying you're sorry; if you were you'd get your shit together or at the very least, make an effort.
Stop trying to reason your way out of shit; I don't care if you're the fucking maytag man, the pope, or the fucking Dalai Lama: closing the door on the (brand new) washer right after you use it WILL result in a musty, mildew smelling washer and, even IF it didn't, are you the one that had to pull $2700 out of your ass to replace them 3 days after getting home from visiting family for Christmas? How about paying for the hardwood floors that now need repairing because you always spill shit and never clean it up?  And the many dishes that have miraculously disappeared?  What about the 3 pairs of (my) gold earrings that vanished? Are you going to pay for all that shit? 
NO, you're not; so shut up and respect what we kindly and politely ask of you.  Respect the rules and boundaries that have been put in place; respect our property, our house, our workshop and all of our (hard earned) possessions.  Stop lying through your teeth and stop making excuses.  I have told you from before you even moved in "if you break something or screw something up, tell me so I can deal with it; if you don't tell me and I find out later, I will get mad; after I've found it, if you lie when I ask you about it, I'll be furious."
  
I can only be kind and polite for so long.  You have far surpassed that limit.