Funny sex stories ?

Question

What's the most funniest thing that happened during sex ?

Accepted Answer

Ex husband and I were going at it one day, I was right there and about to climax as he called out, "I am god!" And the lava lamp fell on his head that he kept on the headboard. I lost it. Talk about punishment for blasphemy. Lol

Answer

Me and my husband was having fun time on the stairs... I was on top and had got up to switch positions. Well my sock slip on the carpet and down the stairs I go full throttle! I landed at the bottom of the steps face down ass up. All my goods and glory reaching to the heavens. I just balled up and kept my face down I couldn't stop laughing I couldn't dare face my husband at this moment. Well in the mean time my husband is historically laughing (also why I couldn't look at him.. he's childish lol) he goes to get up to come help me and HE slips and falls down the stairs and lands directly me. He fractured one of his toes and bruised he knee pretty bad but because we was laughing so hard (a little drunk too) we didn't realize it until the next day... You should of seen our faces when the doctor asked him how he hurt his foot!

Answer

So my boyfriend plays destiny on  the ps4 and he talks to his guy friends on the mic well I was ovulating so of course I wanted to have sex because we are trying to conceive well anyway my boyfriend had left his mic in and his friends heard everything 😂 and I mean everything it was funny so now we have to make sure the mic is unplugged before we do anything😂😂😂

Answer

The first time I had sex with my husband we had turned the lights out, and he rolled over to grab a comdom and he rolled right off the bed lol! It was hilarious!

Answer

Me and my now husband were doing the do one night when we used to live in an apartment and I was on top. Well ya know u go up and down lol well I went up and when I went down he was completely soft and I asked what's wrong and the look on his face was like he saw a ghost lol he said he saw a shadow in the hallway and it scared him. I was like that's one hell of a mood killer.

Answer

My bf and I were having sex maybe for the third time. He was on top and we use the pull out method so when he pulled out in attempting to cum on my stomach instead he shoots it in my eye. So throughout the night my eye swelled up but was all good by morning. 😶 ever since he never finishes on top.

Answer

Last night my bf and I were getting a bit frisky. I'm on top, dirty talking him a bit as things are getting hotter. He decides to spank me, but overreaches and hits himself in the balls instead. 😂😭💀

Answer

My husband was drunk we were having sex he was hitting it from behind but I was laying flat on my belly and he farted 😂. Thank god I wasn't facing him because I definitely laughed quietly.

Answer

Funny sex story number one. 
I decided to go hang out with my old manager he was 26 im 21 we ended up having sex and we headbutted five times it was the most awkward sex in the world. Needless to say I can't go in that store anymore.

Current sex stories from my wonderful other half 
His grandma had called 6 times in sex and asked what we are doing and he always answers. He's interuptee many blow jobs. I've been mid suck and he's moaned in the phone trying to talk to her. Or he's been on top and he'll answer. Shell ask what we are doing and if Dana is there and my so will just be like were busy well bring the baby up later.

His dad showed up at the house unannounced. We were in the middle of it, lucky we my so was,on top But when he knocked we were in the living room and he had to run to find out clothes. Unfortunately my boyfriend left the condom on the table and his dad picked it up and asked if he interrupted something. My boyfriend goes no we kinda just finished. And his dad goes ya I know I see swimmers that failed.

Our first night having sex sucked like big time. So bad we undressed ourselves. It was rough on top because I want too sure what he would like then when he was in top all he did was go in and out way too hard. It was like he was ramming me with a stick. I didn't get off and neither did he.

Headbutting he got me going really well I was on my stomach and he was on top behind. Well he went down to kiss my back and I freaked due to how well he was hitting me and we head butted.