Have you ever miscarried?

I have had 4 pregnancies and 0 babies. I've had two etopic pregnancies and two miscarriages. All four have made me sad, but I am resilient and strong and know if the time is right, one day I may carry a full term, happy, healthy baby. I am 28 years old and could also do without a baby. I could just have my freedom and ability to be selfish for the rest of
My life.  We will see what life has in store for me. I am adopted and have 14 brothers and sisters, 11 of them also being adopted so unconditional love is something I'm very curious about experiencing for myself. Who knows. I'm hot and I'm cold. But still every time I've been pregos and it hasn't worked out, I've felt so indifferent that by the time I feel the void in my heart it's been to much time, I feel like I shouldn't talk about it. I don't want anyone to think I'm having a pity party. But each time I feel like a little piece has been chipped off of my heart. It's been so long since the first time, and so many times that followed I can barely remember it. Tonight I am thinking about it a lot. No perticular reason. And I guess I just want to know the extent of my loneliness. Has this or something similar happened to you? 

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