Weird situation

So my hymen keeps healing and every time I have sex it rips and takes a week or so to heal.

So I went to my gyno is meeting with a board to go over it but right now I have three options.

#1 deal with it. but every time I have sex it literally hurts like I am loosing my virginity no matter how much lube or what position.

#2 pop a baby out and rip it more than it can take to be repaired. But we are having problems with conceiving so who knows how long that will take.

#3 surgery to remove the hymen. But my SO doesn't like that idea because he is worried I won't be as tight, he's worried they'll "take too much". It also has all the risks of other surgeries.

I am favoring #3 but I am nervous.

Anyone know anything about having your hymen removed for surgery and any other side effects like that?