All alone.

I tried making new friends but I haven't been able to find one who I can be close with because they have their own close friends.

My own close friends, we still contact each other via text from time to time (probably like once a month) and even then the conversation lacks the liveliness and humour and it's so dry. I don't know what happened to us. Maybe it's because they have babies, and married, and having conversation with girlfriends aren't that important to them anymore.

I used to be closest with one of my already close group of friends but even she has been so distant these past few months - for example, she didn't even tell me that she was going to fly off to somewhere tomorrow (she travels a lot with her husband & baby because the husband is pretty well-off and has businesses here and there, or sometimes it's just for shopping). And this area we moved in to is so dead, there is really no activities to do and not to mention doing things alone here outside is quite unsafe.

I just feel sad that I used to come from this really tight-knit group of friends and now I feel like I barely even know them anymore. I thought that they were my bestfriends but turns out they probably think that having girlfriends aren't important anymore. I'm used to having someone to talk to on a daily basis and now I'm lucky if in a month I have a decent, quality conversation with any of my friends or cousins.

My SO is not that much of a help either. When I told him about this he said that all I need is him. He said that why do I have to overthink and why do problems come up when he's away? Umm, I can't control when these things happen?? Anyway that wasn't really my point.. But I didn't want to argue so I just stayed quiet. Sigh. I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I can't take being lonely anymore.

Sorry for the long rant. Anyone else going through this too?... :(