Need some love....

Found out I was pregnant a year ago today..... Two weeks later I found out we were expecting twins. At 11 weeks we found out we had lost one of our sweet babies. We had tried for 6 years to get pregnant. After countless fertility meds, 6 round of iui, and 2 rounds of ivf we got our wish. 

I feel so guilty for being sad and mad that we lost one of our babies because we have the most beautiful baby girl, but I miss the baby we lost. I picture every day what it would be like to have twins. I can't help but be sad and mad.... I know we have the greatest guardian angel but I can't help but think what he/she would be like. How he/she would interact with my daughter and I feel like I'm missing part of my heart. I saw that baby's heartbeat, I saw his/her arms and legs wiggling around. I just wish I had both my babies here with me today.