I am constantly on edge. I am 9w2d today, and I miscarried my first baby at 9w4d. I have a septate uterus, and I know that chances of me bringing this baby home are roughly 58%. I can't get over every little twinge I feel. I can't bare the thought of losing this baby, but I know there's a very good chance that I will. My perinatologist tries to comfort me by stating that if I do lose this pregnancy, I can have corrective surgery and then have tons of healthy babies. But I don't want to lose this pregnancy, and that doesn't comfort me at all, and my perinatologist (whom I see twice a week) doesn't seem to understand that. (I fully prefer my midwife over my peri)

I'm completely engulfed in nerves as I think about my next peri appointment in three days. I'm so scared that Babycakes won't have a heartbeat.

Ladies, pray for me and my jumpy nerves, but most of all, my sweet Babycakes, whom I love with all my heart and couldn't bare to lose.