I hate that I'm writing this right now, so please be kind. I'm going through some rough times right now. And in the scheme of things, I'm sure it's a #firstworldprobz kind of post. However I feel like I'll get some sort of release from talking about them.

The past year and a half have been really bizarre and tough. I got engaged July 25, 2014. Lost my grandmother less than two weeks later. Had to start planning my wedding, when all I wanted to do was elope. My Hubby's family was overly involved and offended when I refused to have the wedding up north, and didn't allow kids to attend. This was all being mentioned during, and right after my grandmother's funeral. Fast forward and now we're trying to buy a house, plus get married. I end up getting sick right before the wedding, extra stress. Plus wedding day madness fighting with vendors. We move into our home and I find out I have severe pneumonia. It lasts over 30 days with 3 rounds of chest x-rays, antibiotics, codine syrup so I could sleep, and multiple other drugs. Finally feel better. Fast forward to late September, I start thinking I have a stomach bug. I'm actually pregnant. Schedule a doctors appointment, go in and they do an ultrasound. I was 9 weeks 2 days along according to them. But there's no heartbeat. So I have to have a medically induced miscarriage. All the while my husband and I are fighting like cats and dogs. We both weren't ready to be parents, but after the miscarriage I've been so emotional and shut off. He's been so dismissive and only seems to act like he cares on occasion. At this point I question if we're even meant to be together, I've always thought I'd stay single forever.

Any advice, kind words, or positivity would be so helpful right now.