So my husband has been talking about ttc since august and we finally started in october.... well I got my period and it just ended but im seriously thinking that it could be meant as my chance to change my mind about ttc. We usually have sex five times a week at least. Recently we went two straight days without (for me it felt like forever to go that long) and I started getting depressed that he doesnt find me attractive anymore or something. Add to the fact I havent been working out AT ALL since he left to the field and I dont even feel motivated. Sometimes he'll initiate sex early morning or late at night (when he finishes playing video games at 2 am and im dead asleep) and I dont get anything out of it. I never say no to sex when he wants it but he will turn me down if hes tired. The other day he purposely turned me on and then had it all his way and that was it, I got nothing from it. And I told him hes being selfish, that he should ask me what I want at least. Once he even gave me the excuse that im not supposed to orgasm because we're trying for a girl and some stupid article he read suggested that. Wtf. Last night we started doing it and I told him to kiss me and he said, "I just want you to know that I have to get up at 4:30am so im not trying to drag this out." I ended it right then because WHAT THE HELL. I dont wanna get pregnant and think, "I bet it was from the night he wouldnt even kiss me." He got super pissed that I ended it, saying how ive never had to get up that early for work (yes, I have, I used to work retail, and either way IM A MOM), and I told him all I wanted was to be kissed. Today he had plans to take my son to a trick or treating event while I worked and I was so in love with him for being a father figure that I went out and bought some new lingerie for tonight, also thinking maybe it will help me feel sexy and it will be fun for us both. *he ended up working late so the trick or treating didnt happen* I told him I had a surprise and he got all, "YOURE PREGNANT?!" And I told him "its a surprise, wait for (my sons name) to go to bed..." well he got MAD that I wanted him to wait so I told him it was lingerie and he said "yay. I wouldve been more excited if you were pregnant." That made me feel stupid for trying. And then we ate dinner and he told my son to go take a bath which is basically telling me to go give him a bath and I get my son to bed and im reading him a story and I hear the video game turn on and I think, "well, there goes the lingerie idea." He made me tell him what the surprise was and now my sons in bed and my husband could care less that the surprise was for this time. He would get so mad if he thinks im trying to distract him from his game so ive learned my lesson since long ago never to dress sexy when he plays. Even if I dont mean to dress sexy he gets pissed thinking I want sex and he doesnt wanna get off the game. Ive already told him I dont feel pretty to him anymore but he doesnt understand I guess that hes really just making me unsure that I want a baby with him right now. He has a 24 hour shift tomorrow and he would rather spend friday night playing video games than finding out what lingerie his wife bought with him in mind.