Big time rant here
I have a hard time with humans in general always encouraging. Encouraging is great but sometimes people need to hear it, they need to hear the word no!
I scroll through the community feeds frequently. I commonly see things like young girls ttc. When I say you I mean anywhere from 15-25.. Sorry yes you are young. Now I realize that's extreme and I realize. Many 25 year Olds are 100% ready and in a good place and some 20 year Olds are too. However MANY are not. Also I see so many.. SO MANY people who are in horrible horrible relationships ttc. Or relationships that haven't been together very long ttc. I'm not trying to be old school or traditional, but there is a set of things that should be in place in your life to parent with ease. Let's face it even people 100% ready have trouble being parents. It's a hard job. But those of you ttc and encouraging people to "do what they want" did you ever think of these things?:
1. Kids cost money! Lots and lots of money! I don't care what you think or how you think you will escape the expense, you won't. They are expensive! If you don't have a stable income, room to grow in your job, how on Earth can you be ready to ttc?
2. Kids need supervision 24/7. If you don't have a strong support system. This will be hard. Someone needs to watch your child when you go to school, go to work. If you don't have people in your life willing, you will need to pay for daycare. This is not cheap! This is an outrageous expense!
3. Home life. First of all if you don't have your own place, you just shouldn't be having a kid. Nobody should have to listen to a baby crying in the middle of the night or deal with baby stuff all over the place. If you are going to be a mom, you need to be responsible and raise your child in their own home. A stable home. If you and your significant other do not get along, chances are, actually I'm confident that when you have a baby, things will only get worse. Why are you doing this to yourself or your child? Stop having babies with men who don't treat you right! You are setting yourself up for heartbreak and failure! You are giving your baby a horrible parent, a horrible situation.
4.marriage. Now I completely agree you don't need to be married to have a baby. But let's think about something. 40-50 years ago it was taboo to have babies before getting married. It was also taboo to get divorced. Coincidence? Our world was also so much less crazy! People had average home life's and people turned out well. Now statistics have turned.. Drastically.. Is it ironic that people are growing up in less stable environments and we are having so many more violent crimes and drug epidemics? I have to believe there is some correlation.
Now I realize this is extreme. Obviously there are always exceptions. But I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated seeing babies abused and killed across our country. I'm frustrated seeing women complain about their man cheating in one post, but ttc in another. What frustrates me most is you women say, only you know what's right, do what you feel is best. No! If they are letting their men beat them, they don't know what's right. They need to hear it sometimes. Stop encouraging this nonsense. Stop encouraging kids to have kids. Your encouragement makes people feel it's OK. If they are even questioning whether or not it's OK.. It's not OK. The women ready, don't question themselves, they do it, they are responsible and know they can handle it.