Will it ever be the way it was?

🐵🦉🦖🦊 • SAHM 🧒JEC 5/12/11 🧒CIC 3/20/14 🧒IJC 3/25/16 👼JRC 9/7/17 - 5/31/18
Things have been really bad between me and my hubby. We have both been feeling very unappreciated. We both have also been holding everything in. Until a few night ago when we blew up. We fought in a way we never have before. We tore each other to shreds. Finally calming down we then sat and talked for hours. I thought that whole thing brought both of us to see what the other needed. I've been doing my best to pick up where he felt I needed to. I've been making his lunch even just as an extra way to show him I appreciate him going to work every day. I thought things were going well. I mean he was slacking where I asked him to pick up but I thought well he might feel the same way but we're trying and that's what matters. I even finally started feeling like having sex again. I was really excited for it even. Then after we put the kids down he started flipping out on me and saying mean things. I tried to just talk to him and figure out why he flipped but he kept jumping over me and cutting me off. He gripped me out for 2 hours and then tried to have sex and when I said no he started gripping me out again because I said we would. Sorry I don't feel like it now I'm feeling pretty unloved and defeated. I even told him that and he just got mad. Now I'm just laying here crying wishing this whole day never happened. Idk what to do right now.