Friend needs help ladies can you help??

Question

Not gonna say her name gonna replace with other names.. My friend (sue) has a preteen she isn't here is a step daughter raises her with the child's dad..
The mother is the type who loves to party is absent not really in her life unless she wishes too be..
This child is allowed to wear small tops and jeans in other words wear whatever with them the other family..
After money spent and people saying she'd be best with her bio dad and step mom they won't custody...
Her step daughter doesn't listen seeks male attention is creating Facebook accounts and is lying to her family...
Basically saying I won't take my cell to school she does..
Is writing she cannot wait to be her crushs gf.. Is all about the boys..
She doesn't know what to do this child wants back with her non existing mother to see her friends.. Not real winners and do as she wishes..
Which honestly we believe will lead to teen pregnancy..
She's a good kid and can be loving sister and daughter.. My friend has just had enough of the lying and not doing well in school seeking out male attention is mad if not getting her way..
It's become stressful..
So any moms of preteens out there have any advice for my friend..
She doesn't know if she needs to do a pat down and book bag look through before going to school.. Or if she's over peotective..
I'm unsure what to say or do.. I love my bff and wanna try to help but my kids is 5 lol so I have no answers.. Thanks!

Answer

Honestly, she's seeking male attention? It sounds like she needs a proper father figure.

Answer

Typical teen stuff.

Answer

Don't judge her, tell her dad to be a father

Answer

I always go by the theory that I'm not my girls friend I'm there mom. They have enough friends. I think moms of teenagers are more afraid of there kids hating them so that's why they give in. I'm there mom they can hate me if they want but they will respect me. In the end when they get older they'll appreciate it.

Answer

All I can say is spare the rod, spoil the child.  I have 3DD 20,9,6 and my oldest is in college and I have never had these problems out of her because she knows I don't play those game I say what I mean and mean what I say.  You will follow my rules and I am not your friend I can be friendly but your buddy I am not, some people will say that you shouldn't spank, whip whatever you want to call it I've never had to do it all the time but when warranted I have and I have no shame in it, to each its own I just believe that after I've talked to you and said what I've had to say and you try and turn around and do what you want then their are consequences.  I love my kids and they know it, but I will not allow my children to run my home or just dress and do what they want.  Just be a listening ear for your friend and support her she's obviously at her wits end and at a loss.

Answer

Please note that this advice is coming from a high school teacher of students who have been expelled.  So YES check the book bag, and turn off the cell phone take away all Internet devices.  She is the daughter and they are the parents, kids are not entitled to cell phones or computers.  Or if she needs a phone have them buy her a basic cell to call and text, that's it.  The behavior will only get worse if no discipline happens.  Not that your friend isn't trying but offer her some more discipline tactics...I hope it works out, tell her to hang in there :)

Friend needs help ladies can you help??

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