Feeling hopeless and confused!😭💔

Jill
Hello. I am 41 and delivered my 4th child 11 months ago. My children are 11 months, 15 yr old, 20 yr old, 23 yr old and also a 15 year old we adopted. When my youngest daughter was 3 months old my husband wanted to start trying for another. His idea and I was elated! We made an appointment with OBGYN to talk about ovulation medication. We conceived our youngest using this. She said I had to stop breast feeding and we would monitor and she felt for sure we'd Concieve soon! For 8 months I have been taking this medication and it makes you not feel very well and hormones:/ wow. My husband seems to not want to have sex during my best days. He has an excuse or just falls asleep. The rest of the month he is all over me? The medication makes my face breakout along with a lot of other side effects. I ask if he's still wsntingvanothervand he says yes? Why am I putting myself through brought this and he's not trying? Please tell me what you may think. Thank you.Â