Help!

Brandy

My daughter will be 4 this month and for the last year we have battled with her over and over again. Her tantrums are growing worse and worse. We have no idea what to do for her. She gets angry over every little thing, if the tooth paste is on her tooth brush wrong even though we know there isn't really a wrong way to do that, if she has to wear a jacket, if I need to brush her hair, bath time it's always something different sometimes she won't want a bath others she won't want to wash her hair or wash her body or get out of the tub, she gets angry if we try to get her to finish her food, angry if we ask her to pick up after her self. No every time for everything sometimes she'll do fine with a bath then the next night scream and not want to do it. When these tantrums come she kicks, bites, scratches, punches, gets in our faces and yells as loud as she can, throws things. Is extremely violent. With me being pregnant (32 week) I can't have her kicking or hitting my stomach, once she was angry at me and she rammed her head into my stomach.

I know the baby isnt why she's so bad because this started before I got pregnant and she's looking forward to having a brother she even brags at school about it. And she started school after her tantrums became an issue. I just don't know how to handle her, we has to put heroin her bedroom with her gate up for 20 minutes knew night while she screamed so she wouldn't hit us because she wouldn't do her time out, kept getting up to pinch us and hit us. I'm at a loss for what to do