I have to get it off my chest!

My father is a child molester and he goes after little boys! I feel sick to my stomach because of it...he has told me before that he didn't want a girl that if he could trade me for a boy he would.....he touched about 6 boys altogether and I had no idea what was happening when it was going on.....until the day I got home and he wasn't there he had been put back in jail and charged with 4 cases.....my life has never been the same and I am so scared some one would find out and say it is my fault and that I am just as sick hearted as him....I feel like in a way I am get punished for what he did.....I feel like cutting myself so deep just to not feel the pain....I am broken inside side to know that I share the same DNA as this man that did those things to those little boys and there was nothing I could do to protect them....I just with I didn't look so much like him ...please no rude comments!