But it's hard sometimes. But the hardest thing is, I think my partner (of 10 years!) doesn't like or respect me anymore. He loves his son but he doesn't help out if I don't ask him to. I guess it started when he was really busy at work and I (starting to settle in my new mummy role) just did it all without asking for help.

I wouldn't mind but doing the chores of parenthood also increases bonding. And since I still express he could feed him once in a while but he doesn't.

Instead we're just having arguments all the time. Everything I do gets a snide comment. Sometimes even how I'm like my family who he apparently doesn't like, who knew. When I say I'm tired he tells me how exhausted he is. When I say I could really use a shower he tells me that he needs one too and who do I need to be clean for, who am I going to see? Like its a competition. I don't feel like I could tell him how I feel after a rough day. Or that despite loving my son that I'm concerned I may be the brink of ppd. Or that I could ask him for a favour or just to lend me a hand with the baby.

When I do he tells me how I apprently am a know it all who bosses him around. Breathing down his neck. Always on his case. Everything I know better. And I stopped asking for help. I stopped telling him how I sometimes feel or when I'm exhausted but still he makes me feel like I'm too demanding, too bossy and that I complain too much. He is so short tempered. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm just trying my best to be a god mother. Am I really expecting too much of him? Am I really too bossy or condecending? It's getting so much that I cry when I'm on my own. I just feel that he just doesn't like me anymore. Never mind love but that he doesn't like the person he sees in me now. Everything I do or say tips him off. 

You hear about postpartum women despising their partners after birth (because hormones and ppd) but never fathers who dislike their partners.

Sorry for this long post and my ramblings, I just needed to say this once and let it out. I don't know where we go from here... 10 years and after 11 weeks of parenthood this. I don't even know what's happening.

Thank you for listening ...