Am I wrong to be irritated with my husband?

Question

I'll try to make this as short as possible but ya'll need details!!

Our son will be 2 next month and does not eat regular food and only says 2 words (only 1 is really understandable to others and it's "mom")

He is strictly on pediasure to supplement. He has had tests ran, he's in early intervention for feeding therapy (occupational) and speech therapy. He has been in them since he was 13 months.

Recently we began other tests for ears/hearing, tonsils or obstructed airway, and adenoids. We finally had our first appointment with the ENT today and we have a hearing test in 3 weeks.

Since he doesn't eat correctly, he doesn't sleep correctly and he is very irritable and gets frustrated and next to impossible to soothe. I asked my husband to please come with us to this appointment so I could fill the doctor in on what is going on while my husband helped keep my son calm at the same time because this is VERY important.

Well, my husband didn't even ask to have off and he works for his Dad (they run a business together) I just needed one hour out of his day so I could get my son's new doctor understanding his situation. But no. And the appointment went terribly! I took a bag full of toys, I turned Netflix on my phone, I played with him while we waited but the wait made my son restless I mean he's just a toddler and we waited for an hour... The doctor couldn't even complete the exam and I couldn't even think straight to get all of the information out.

I quit a job I loved in April because my son needed me. It was spreading me thin with all of the appointments, therapies, and working full time that I couldn't focus on him like he needed you know? Now I go back to work next month and my husband works from home in the winter but our son will be in full time daycare and I don't trust my husband to fully get things right with our son medically... He doesn't take it seriously it seems like...

Am I overreacting? Because I'm so upset by this...

Answer

I don't think you are in the wrong to be angry. Your husband should WANT to be a part of your son's life in everyway. However, I can't help but play the devil's advocate in this situation. Maybe, just maybe (and I don't know all the details, so this is just a possible theory), you husband feels that you have taken over the reigns and have pushed him out of the situation. Maybe he has lost the feeling that his opinion/relationship doesn't matter because you "have it handled." Maybe something you can do is give him the reigns and allow him to take some of the responsibility. I know that you can't make anyone do what they don't want to do, but it's a possibility that if you "step down" a bit (not suggesting any neglect for your son), your husband will have to step up. You can of course take this at a grain of salt, but I figured I would suggest another view on the situation :)

Answer

Exact scenario with me. My son just turned 3 and still won't talk. Therapy this, ent that. Adenoids are gone. 2nd set of tubes have been put in. They think autism.

Answer

I would be furious that he didn't come. Sounds like you need to go to couples therapy and have a long conversation about your feelings. Otherwise you will resent him and it will lead to divorce. Get help now before things get worse. Good luck!

Answer

YOU ARE NOT Wrong! Push for it. I had my son's father that I tried to get involved with our sons issues and he failed to even pay attention.  Well our son is hard of hearing and has had to use other means of communication and we'll father doesn't have a relationship with him now cause he doesn't want to learn sign and he doesn't see his kid having any issues. When it's very obvious.  So my son is going on 5 in Jan and his father bailed 2yrs ago.

Answer

You are not over reacting he should be just as involved with his son's health as you are. But I also think that maybe he might be a little nervous on what the test could reveal and don't know how to handle that so he is being distant. Hopefully you guys work it out

Answer

Yea I think you are over reacting.  You don't work
Your husband works.

You can't expect him to take off from work when he is wanting to provide for his family

Answer

I think you have every right to be upset, but at this point, if your husband is not stepping up to help you, then you need to figure it out and get it done for your sons sake. If you know he's irresponsible in this department then it's up to you to make sure things go right. Irritating, I know, but your son needs someone dependable, he doesn't need you pointing fingers, he just needs a dependable person on his side. If you need to write everything down before an appointment, do that. If you need to spell everything out on paper for your husband while your son is in his care, do it. Let your husband know that your sons life is in his hands. If he can't be responsible about it, then maybe he's not the best person to care for your son.

Am I wrong to be irritated with my husband?

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