I've been breast feeding and pumping  for 10 days now and I am feeling so tired and frustrated by it already... I know it's the best option for my son especially since he's a month premature. I just feel like I'm constantly doing one or the other and I'm just feeling "over it". I know that sounds awful. I'm just hoping this mindset will fade and it will get better. I got a breast infection on day 6, and I'm starting to feel a little better now that I'm on antibiotic, but I'm still just like ugh about breastfeeding. I don't feel that exciting bond I've heard about. I just feel dread and anxiety with every feeding. When we were in the hospital he was latching on perfectly and then our first night home was still really good, and then it almost flipped for two days where he would only latch like 2 minutes fall asleep, wake up hysterical, latch 2 minutes, wake up hysterical and just repeat that for hours and hours and hours. So it's just like exhausting and when I got the infection, I was so sick and tired my husband fed him only Breast milk bottles for a day and a half. Then the next day he literally was latching on perfectly and eating almost exactly every 3 hours and sleeping really well. Then last night the back and forth eating for a couple minutes , sleeping, and crying started again. I'm just ready to give up. I know this is selfish. I just need encouragement that it does in fact get better and this is somewhat normal.