Okay ladies I need some advice. Please don't judge me or my relationship.

So my bodied and I met in high school(senior year). We have been together for about 2 and a half years. We were both coming out of break ups. Well as couple months into the relationship, we went to his ex girlfriends going away party(we are both friends with the one throwing the party). I didn't want to go but ended up going. We both got drunk and he ended up kissing his ex. I had to find out the next day through a Facebook message. Things got bad, I was pissed. Well we ended up getting through it. Then about 6 months later I caught him and his best friends wife cheating. He would drive up to there place and stay for 2 days. The friend was in the military. I didn't like the idea and I would fight and cry and beg him not to go. But he went anyways. Of course I still stayed with him. Until I saw messages on his phone. I confronted him then sent all the screen shots the the husband. I kicked my boyfriend out. Well a little after that I started talking to this guy who lives in a different state. My boyfriend and I were trying to work things out. But I continued to talk to the guy because he made me feel worth something. Boyfriend found out and flipped so I ended it with the guy. Then not even 4 months later I drive to his father's cause that's where he was at the time and find him and another chick in the back of his car. She was half naked. He tried saying nothing happened. But come on. I kicked him out again. But of course a week or two later I took him back. Well a couple months ago I was out with some friends and got drunk and ended up sleeping with this guy my friend knew. The next day all of us went to the movies. I told my boyfriend that I cheated. I told him i wanted to just date and not be boyfriend/girlfriend and he said okay. Since then I don't know if I want to stay in this relationship. I feel like it is completely toxic no matter how good it gets. But when I start thinking about it I get anxiety cause I do love him. But on the other hand I'm done with this relationship. I just need some advice before I go crazy. Sorry this is so long. :/