My miscarriage story.
This morning at 4:40am I miscarried my 5.5week old baby. To me I thought miscarrying would just feel like a period but it's so much more then that. I knew I was pregnant for 2 weeks. That's 2 weeks of thanking God, rubbing my belly, buying baby things even though I know the bad that can happen, talking about it, watching baby movies, pondering on improvements I can make in my home to make the baby more secure, my husband finding a better job to support us and falling in love with this baby. My husband and I had been trying for 5 long months which felt like longer and when I saw that line on the pregnancy test it felt like a trick because I have PCOS and was told I couldn't conceive without fertility treatments. I woke up yesterday morning happy, my husband drove me to work and I walked in smiling because I knew that nothing else mattered, I was pregnant finally I got my baby I always wanted. All the predictors indicated it was a boy which I wanted so I was thinking of names I loved. And then I bled..I ran to the er(I work in the hospital) and when they gave me the ultrasound there was nothing there. Just nothing. And that's when I knew my baby wasn't alive inside of me anymore. I went all day yesterday contracting, every 4 mins one would come. I took Tylenol and held on to false hope that I may still be pregnant. this has happened to other women before, I repeated to myself searching for rare stories of women who bled but were okay. Unfortunately at 4:40 I felt pressure and cramping like worse then I've ever felt so I ran to the bathroom and I felt a huge clump of tissue and blood slide out of me. Then another. And I felt empty. Miscarrying isn't something to fake, it's not something that "happens to everyone" every story is personalized. Every story matters. Every story hurts deeply. This app wasn't just created for those trying to get pregnant or are pregnant, it was created as a community for us women who can share our stories have someone FINALLY relate to what we feel.
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