Split with my partner, shared custody?

Question

I would really appreciate some advice from some women that have been in a similar situation. 
My baby is nearly 4 months old and over a month ago me and my partner split up. The break up was mutual as we both realised things weren't working between us and it would be best for our baby son if we split. 
I want my son's dad to be in his life as much as possible and so does he. I don't believe in keeping him from seeing his father, he is an amazing dad and our son absolutely loves him. 
My baby's dad lives with his mother and they take my son for a few nights a week so that they get to see him. I do really miss him when he goes, but it gives me time to catch up on housework and get a good sleep. 
I find it hard sometimes, as most of the time it's just me and my son, I'm still trying to figure out this whole "mum" thing.
But my family aren't happy about this and they keep telling me that Its wrong to be away from my son for longer than one night a week. 
My baby's dad and his gran absolutely love him and they take really good care of him. But my family keep saying things like "you're his mother, he needs you more than he needs his dad." 
Have any of you had a similar situation? Do you think I shouldn't let him spend so much time at his dads? 
I know ultimately it's my decision, but I don't want to keep my baby from seeing his dad if that's going to cause problems later.
Thanks for reading xx

Answer

I think you're doing a great job and your family needs to butt out.

Answer

split custody is great bit come up with a plan now and get it in writing and have a plan for all contingencies such as holidays after school sports and stuff like that. you have no idea how much your ex appreciates you being so great about this. good luck!

Answer

Sounds like you need to stop listening to your family or else you'll end up going to court and having joint custody. It's YOUR daughter and HIS daughter a child needs BOTH parents not one more than the other but BOTH equally. Keep doing as you are sweetie don't let your families bitterness take over the situation you both have now.

Answer

Sounds like the dad and grandma are doing a good job and giving you a chance to rest which is equally important. If you're comfortable with the situation don't let any one tell you otherwise. It sounds like you and your ex are handling things like adults, which I applaud you for. When your family brings the situation up I would say something like "I appreciate that you want what's best for us but this situation works for the three of us and that is all that matters."

Answer

Sounds like you all are doing a great job so far your family is just thinking of your best interest out of love I would just tell them thanks for your opinion I think me and baby's dad are doing well and we have a routine that works best for us and our situation keep your chin up people will always have opinions these are your choices and you seem to be doing great

Answer

trust yourself.  if there is any reason to believe that care isn't being taken for your baby then make a new decision. but sounds like the relationship is being maintained in a positive way, showing respect and trust...i think you will reap the rewards from your approach.

Answer

You have to do what's best for your son irregardless of what anyone says. If you have an arrangement that works for you and your ex, go with it. Doing something that doesn't benefit your son will make him resent you or his father. Time will prove your family wrong. And I agree with other than you should plan for holidays and put thing in writing. It will stop any potential problems

Answer

I believe that it is your decision to make, not your family's. It seems like you and your ex have mutual respect and understanding for one another. It is important to keep that for the sake of your son. My ex and I have been split up for nine years and we have a pretty good relationship where our son is concerned. We have joint custody and I honestly think that is the best way to handle it if you can. As long as you know that your son is being taken care of when he is away, there is no need to worry. My son is now ten and I still miss him when he is away, but I know that he is taken care of which makes me worry less.

Answer

I wouldn't let my babe spend the night but I would let the Dad see him as much as he wanted.

Answer

All your decision. As long as you're sure that dad and grandma are treating baby right, there's no reason to listen to your family. What baby needs is three adults who all care. Sounds like your baby has that! Separated parents who get along are a great thing, that's what I had as a child.

Split with my partner, shared custody?

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