What do you ladies think about this?

Question

This about a lady who gave her husband a "hall pass" ... Curious about what you all think about it before I share my opinion. http://www.scarymommy.com/night-gave-my-husband-a-free-pass/

Answer

As soon as I saw Mo'nique's article about this...I couldn't even bring myself to read it. The title just did me in and I was like, "Hell. No. If there is a pass given it's gonna be a pass to choose what we get for dessert." No way. I value myself, my marriage, and my future children more than anything. I'll be damned if my little girl grows up thinking she isn't enough for a man (or woman) that it's standard to be a sidechick or allow her SO to have sidechicks...Or if my son grows up thinking he needs more than one woman (or man) to make him whole...Ain't. Happenin. We made a commitment to ourselves and to God. If I'm never enough, too bad. We made this lifelong commitment through happiness and sorrow, good times and bad.

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I was perturbed that she was so turned off by sex and therefore wants him to sleep with someone else and not tell her so she doesn't have to have sex or feel pressured. Bit "don't fall in love". Then goes on and says how great their marriage is and he refused and will wait five years or however long it takes for her to be interested in sex again even though he wants it all the time. My thoughts are she's kidding herself if she thinks her marriage is going to survive. She's being incredibly selfish and ignoring her husbands needs. Expects him to stick around in a sexless marriage for years but isn't willing to do anything to try and make him happy. Eventually he's going to sleep with someone else and feels like he has his wife's blessing to do so and if she found out it wouldn't matter. He will end up meeting someone who he has real intimacy with and a partnership instead of someone who is only worried about their own happiness. He is going to leave her. It shouldn't be hard for her to feel sexual towards her husband, I don't think that is possible if you love someone, mismatched sex drives sure, but zero interest ever ? You are in love with the security he provides... Not him.

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I think the men who think they "need" one will take one with or without your knowledge anyway. Also once you've done it once, they can use that to justify going behind your back other times. I wouldn't allow it because our marriage is based on true and pure love, not just understanding and convenience.

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I kind of wonder why she seems to find sex with her husband so repulsive? Its only tolerable with wine??

My first reaction was why would you ever let your husband sleep with anyone else and why would he want to. But if your parter finds sex with you "disgusting" (her words!) then I don't know how else you could stay married? It's a pretty bizarre concept.

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Why are there so many posts on hall passes and bieth control tonight???? Lmao

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Well good for her and her husband i guess but I would NEVER ever ever give him a hall pass. And if he ever needed ine, I'd leave him.

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It wasn't like he was "oh good" about it .. It was like a threat... I dunno, she was like abusing him it seemed Ike she was using his commitment against him... But she's so self absorbed she's not going to notice when he finds someone who really wants him. Nothing feels better than actually being wanted. It sounds like she doesn't care whether he comes home or not.

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Why not just break up?

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Personally, I found the way she talked about sex with her husband so distasteful. "Boning him" "Screwing him" "Shagged him" "F*** him** Like she talked about it in such a repulsive manner but maybe thats just me. I think its insane that she gave her husband a hall pass. Marriages don't come with hall passes because you aren't feeling sex sometimes. That marriage just seems so...off. And he obviously seemed genuinely hurt by it. Clearly they had a monogomous relationship and it was very obvious he was strictly monogomous, so it shocked me that she said that to him, because obviously it would hurt him. And he did. I don't know, I think just her mindset alone sets them up for divorce.

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she is selfish as hell