God.. HORRIBLE miscarriage dream
I have had two miscarriages in the past. Both pregnancies I didn't even know about until they ended and I had to go to the hospital to find out why I was in so much pain and bleeding so much. This makes me really sad, like I block this out and try not to think or talk about it at all.
But last night I had such a horrid dream that I can't stop thinking about it and it's making me really upset. You see both times that I miscarried I blamed myself because I felt like if I had known I wouldn't have miscarried and maybe I did something to cause it and that guilt eats away at me. I felt even worse the second time.
In this dream I thought I had started my period and a baby came out that was about 12 weeks and I felt that horrible feeling that I felt when I was told I was miscarrying and the baby came out alive and wiggled in my hand and tried to breathe and I basically just watch it suffer and die. This is so upsetting to me that it's making me extremely depressed. I don't know why I'm having these dreams and I want them to stop.
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