Ok so long story but basically when my daughter (now almost 3) was 3months old, I left her alone for the first time, with her father. We were together and he insisted I needed a night out with girlfriends (I stayed at my friends house that night). The next morning I called to find out the police were in my home, my daughter was in an ambulance and her father was in custody for breaking her arm. He was sober. Said he "blacked out" for whatever reason he got angry and took it out on my innocent 3month old baby. With me she was the happiest easiest baby. Never cried. Slept full nights and great naps. He knew her routine. I never thought twice about leaving her with him. It was the worst day of my life.

Now I am 7 months pregnant with my second. New father who is amazing and has stepped up as daddy for my 3yr old. (Her father has been out of the picture since, he also spent a year in jail for what he did.) Problem is Im so paranoid. I feel like I will never be able to leave my baby. I feel like I cant trust anyone even though I know how amazing my fiance is, I also thought so with my previous boyfriend....

I know I cant hold this against my fiance but I have like insane anxiety about it all. I feel like I want my baby inside me forever just so I never have to leave her in anyones care but my own ever.

Pregnancy hormones dont help, ugh...