Trust issues still

Basically, I was in a very violent relationship for 5 years, I was 12 and he was 25 (I didn't think were in a proper relationship when it started). While in the relationship he constantly cheated on me (every weekend), I was in hospital with various broken bones and internal bleeding a total of 57 times, I lost 2 babies due to the violence, first at 16 weeks second at 27 weeks aged 13 and 16, and raped daily.

I left him when I was 17. Got with my latest ex and had my oldest son at 18, he also took advantage of me being a deep sleeper and would have sex with me whilst I was asleep.

Im 23 now and still can't trust men at all, whether it be I think they're cheating on me or I think they're going to raise their fist or start raping me.

It's getting both me and my SO down as I want to trust him but I just can't bring myself to do so.

Anyone else in the same boat?