I'm in like with someone I've never met.

So I'm going to make this short as possible. 8 years ago I was playing around on stickam (Yes I know I'm old lol) and I came across this Guy who was a DJ on a British radio station. I listened in and we started talking. Through the past 8 year we Continued talking even after him leaving the radio station. We were talking on a more personal level about our lives and our dreams and even though we are on opposite side of the world our lives took some what of the same path. We both fell in love with someone, we both had 2 boys and we both had our hearts broken by our significant others. Last summer I went out with a friend and got very drunk. I woke up the next morning to see a message from him. "If I had something to say then just say it." Coming to found I drunk text him saying that there was something I wanted to say to him but was scared that it would mess up our friendship. Being hung over and already putting myself out there I went ahead and told him how I felt about him. He told that I wasn't going to lose him as a friend. That's all I got from him. He never mention that if he felt the same way or didn't. Well as I expected he stopped talking to me. About four months later I got a message from him apologising to me about how much of a bastard he was being towards me. Of course I have forgave him because I knew at the time he was going through a rough patch in his life. Things were great between us again. I had my friend back and I couldn't be happier. Him and his best mate (Best Guy Friend) started a podcast together. Of course I have listened to every episode faithfully and showed my support for them. They're been a few episodes where he has mentioned my name but he said I was one of his listeners. It crush me to hear that every time. I would just dust it off and let it go because we were still talking to each other like good friends. We talked about me coming to visit him in sometime in the beginning of next year. It Was great we started making plans and thinking of things we can do together while I'll was there. 2 weeks ago it seemed like he walked after the face of the earth. He stopped talking to me out of no where. I would message him every now and then just to see if he was okay. I would see that he looked at my text messages but he would never respond to them. Yesterday I talked to my best friend asking her what should I do. Should I go on this trip or not. She told me to text him and say that I might not be able to come anymore. So I did and surprisingly he responded to me. Saying " oh rubbish! " and asking me  "Why can't you make it anymore?" I came up with a half truth half lie saying that my car was broken (truth) and I needed to buy a new one (lie). It sounded like he was generally upset about me not being able to go.  I am so torn on what to do. A part of me wants to let him go but the other part of me is so attached to him and I don't really know why.