Being loyal

I hate when people are not loyal but I'm being a hypocrite saying that.. I am not even loyal myself.. I have a boyfriend AND a girlfriend. They know nothing about each other.😣 I need to break up with them and tell them both what has happened. For me, this happens often that I cheat on someone, I'm just not good with relationships at all. I really need to keep to myself and stay out of a relationships until I figure myself out. I need help with this process, someone to talk me through this and give advice. I am begging someone to help me please 😔🙏🏽 I don't deserve the help but I need it extremely to be myself again - Lexie