Heartbroken

My husband and I just cannot go on
His abusive controlling and both of us refuse to talk to the opposite ones family. It's just not going to work,
Yeah it hurts his gone now but what hurts the most is I always wanted a son since having a daughter I wanted a little man I could call my own who would never leave me he'd be my best friend just as my daughter is to me. This is what hurts me the most.
I don't want kids to another man because I don't want my daughter to feel the way I felt growing up when my mother had more kids to someone else 
Call me crazy, hate idc but I'm honestly so depressed knowing I'll never have a son.