Sexy Back?

Question

So I hate my current body but my partner loves every bit of it and sort of went into this whole lecture on why I don't need to lose weight and who cares what society says... But I'm trying to explain to him that it's not society's thinking it's my own... I had my 1st mental break down in July of 2011 and after being on the meds it caused a lot of weight gain and now when I look in the mirror I associate my weight with all the negative... But he's not understanding it's for me and nobody else. He says I just need to learn to embrace my body and love it then I'll have my sexy back. He's seen me through all the weight gain and I appreciate what he's saying but I want him to see my point. What to do?

Answer

You need to do whatever makes YOU feel good. You can look fantastic, but if you dont feel it, you wont be happy. And I completely understand the feeling. I was 95 pounds (inshape I'm only 5'3", I was highly active, no eating disorders.) Anyway, I had an amazing body, fit, flat stomach, big fit booty, D boobs. Well I started birthcontrol when I was 20 because I couldn't take my cramps and throwing up every month. It made me gain 30 pounds, which was only 135, which is not overweight, but I felt horrible about my body, my husband (who was my bf at the time), reminded me every day how beautiful I was, but also he knew I wasnt happy, he helped me be motivated to lose weight, but at the same time would remind me that it was all for me to feel better. Now Im 125, still working on getting a flatter tummy and losing 15 more pounds. He still keeps me motivated and I know its just because he wants me happy. And I know I look great, im just not where I want to be.

Answer

I think if you want to do something good for yourself, then that is a very loving thing to do for your body and mind. But in a way he's right, you really need to think about whether you're doing this because you hate yourself or because you love yourself. If it's because you hate yourself,it won't be any different when you're skinny. Love yourself now, show your body love, and treat it like you love it. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. This way you don't have to wait until your skinny to feel good about yourself. And then when you're at the weight and health you want to be at, you'll feel the best you've ever felt in your life.

I understand what your boyfriend is saying, because society puts a lot of pressure on women to have the perfect body. You might think it's you wanting to do it, but you are literally bombarded everywhere you look with women (models) who are absolutely perfect looking. Today's women are held to that standard, which is pretty unrealistic. Subconsciously we want to be that perfect too. But without that standard to be held to, we would think we are perfect just as we are.

Ultimately, do the most loving thing for yourself and the thing that makes you feel really good about yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else says.

Sexy Back?

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