In need of serious advice... Boyfriend decided he doesn't want kids?

Question

edit: sorry if this is long but I really really need advice. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hey guys. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I love him with all my heart. He was my first love, my first everything. I am 21 and he is 24. We always talk about our future and plan on getting married and i can really imagine myself growing old with him. We live together and spend every day together and I wouldn't want it any other way!

However we've run into a huge issue. He's always been indecisive on whether or not he wants kids. I've always wanted kids, and recently my cousin had a baby and it made me want to be a mother one day even more! I cannot wait to experience pregnancy and motherhood. However when I brought this up to him last night he told me he didn't think he would ever want kids... And that I shouldn't be with him in hopes that he changes his mind.

I am so heartbroken. I so badly wanted to be with him and have kids with him one day. I now feel like saying what's the point? I have no idea what to do. Leaving him would be the most difficult thing ever but I don't think I could live a childless life.... Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm at a lost...

Thanks guys ❤️

Answer

If this is a deal breaker you need to leave. End of story. 
My husband and I did it. He decided he didn't want kids and I left. Months later, I came to realise I wanted him more than I wanted kids and he came to realise he wanted kids. We got back together and decided it'd happen if it's meant to. 4 years later I'm currently pregnant with our first and he is over the moon. 
Something as big as children can not be overlooked. If you stay and never have kids, you'll resent him. If you persuade him to have kids, he'll resent you. It's hard, I know. I've done it, but it really is a life changing decision you have to be okay with.

Answer

First off, I'm really sorry he never wants children. He never stated he did want children so you can't hate him for it.

Leaving will suck. It will hurt for a long time and you'll wonder if you've made the right decision. Your life isn't over, you will meet a man who wants a family with you. His mind may never change and you have to accept that either way.

I was never the girl who wanted to be married and have children. We had an accident baby, got married, and now working on more children. So therefore some people do grow with age.

Answer

I am really sorry you are going through this. He is still really young, most men do a lot of growing up between 24 and 30 (some even need a little longer) and he could change his mind eventually but it's not fair for you to wait around for that time to come, you need to find a man whose dreams align with yours. Trust that everything happens for a reason and stay strong 💞

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My husband did NOT want kids at that age and frankly neither did I! But things can easily change! It took until our late twenties but now we both want kids! :)

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Honestly , If y'all stayed together , you'd end up resenting him and being unhappy because you would feel like he held you back from what you wanted in life. Maybe he is just afraid of the commitment that comes with having kids.

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Maybe you should talk to him Again then give it sometime. However, if he has hiz mind made up then there's most likely no changing that. If you can't live with out kids and he can then you may have to go your seperate ways because you can't compromise with kids. I was head over hills for this guy and could have seen myself with him nut he wanted kids and I don't...so we both decided it would be best not to take the relationship any further.

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At 21 you are still so young, Persue you passions, go back to school and either start, finish, or advance your degree. Yes you should probably think about ending your relationship but you also have time before motherhood.

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i agree with ur bf. ur not goin to change him so stop belivn it will happen. you have to make a choice no kids and him or kids n be gone. do what is best for u

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He might still change his mind! At 24 he might not be thinking about kids yet. I guess it all depends on when you want kids. If it's soon, then you might want to tell him how important it is to you to have kids. If he's really not interested in having kids, you could tell him that you really don't see a future with him and see how he responds.

Answer

Follow your heart. You are still young and if BF doesn't have all the qualities you want don't settle, there RIGHT guy is out there.