I went to see a fertility specialist since we've been trying for 1.5 years now. He said everything is looking great so far and will be doing more testing first. He asked me why do I want to get pregnant? My first though was that I'm 32 and I want to be younger to enjoy my kids. But was that really an answer? That's more of a logical thing not want my heart would say. When I asked my heart why...I just don't get an answer back. I guess I'm questioning my motives. I don't want to have a kid just because everyone else is. I see my friends with young kids struggling. Do I want that? And why? Ugh and why am I feeling this way?