For the past couple of years I've been losing my testimony and desire to go to church. I had my son two years ago and got very bad depression. I've never felt so alone. I think I feel a little bitter towards bishoprics and relief society presidencies because of this even though I know it's not their fault. I love the church and I used to love being a member.. I just want to get back there. I have lots of friends in my ward now that we've moved so that's not an issue anymore. I just have doubts that the restoration actually happened and that the church is led by God. There are things in the history that bother me that I don't really need to talk about. I want my faith back but I don't want to brain wash myself. My husband is so sad and I hate disappointing him but I also hate lies. I should also point out that I go to church every Sunday, have a calling, and have never met the bishop in my ward. I

Don't feel comfortable talking to him because I don't think he cares about me or my family. What should I do?

Do you think I am worthy of wearing my garments? My husband wants me to wear them and I want to since my goal is to get back to where I was. I feel like a liar though.

I also still have a temple recommend since my bishop doesn't know I don't have a testimony. I don't go to the temple though. I miss the temple, though. 

I need help.