Moms of 3+ boys I need help.

I told myself it was a boy the whole time. I thought I would be fine. At first I was. And last night sadness and depression hit me out of no where! I just blew up on the inside! I'm so sad it's another boy. I feel like there are no surprises, no new things to learn. I feel like I wasted my time getting pregnant and I shouldn't feel this way! I hate it! It's been so hard to even get pregnant and keep the three I have that I should be happy with anything I get and I'm not. I've tried all kinds of reasoning and rationalization to see if this feeling would go away or at least get easier and it's getting worse. I'm starting to think I should see my dr. I feel like a terrible person and a horrible mother! Has anyone else ever felt like this? I really want someone to talk to but I'm afraid my friends and family will judge me for this or just not know what to say... I'm the only one with all boys.