Sex less marriage :(

I've been with my husband for 8 yrs and we barely had sex. It was always me initiating. He'd come home from work and I'd dress up for him or surprise him when he's asleep. We talked about it and he tells me he has no confidence in initiating. When he does, it's a schedule meaning "we need to have sex before 10 pm so I can stay up, I don't want to sleep right after"..... sexy huh? I think he watched too much porn and I think he still does. Every time I talk to him about it he gets angry and defensive. Before ttc we used to go months without doing anything now I show him my fertile week and that's the only time we have sex, never spontaneous.

I've basically given up on trying to change it, I feel bad every time he turns me down. I don't know if this can be normal. And he definitely, 100% is not cheating on me. I think he'd rather drink and play video games :(