Orgasm

Okay so I'm terrified of having an orgasm. I'm a very CLEAN and collected person and I'm just terrified I am going to squirt if I have an orgasm. I don't like bodily fluids, like at all. I know I should get used to them but with all the guys I've had sex with I just think it's gross. So I fake an orgasm... My boyfriend doesn't know... Any advice?