Hey ladies...I really just need to vent for a moment and see if anyone relates. I've struggled with depression since I was 12 years old. It runs in my family especially on my mother's side. Unfortunately, I'm the ONLY person in my family who has ever gotten help. Something I had to do all on my own. I only recently was able to get by on only taking medication during the winter time when my depression goes into overdrive, but up until then I was on a very steady regimin (sp?) of Wellbutrin, prozac, and therapy.

My mental health is no secret in my family, I try to be open and communicate so I don't push people away

ANYWAYS, I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow with my first child and as winter deepens, so does my depression. Any time I try to talk about what's going on, such as wanting to sleep for days, being unable to shower and eat, feelings of worthlessness...etc, my sister who had three kids (and nearly hurt one of them because she refused admit she had and refused to see a doctor about post partum) especially, likes to devalidate what I'm experiencing by saying "welcome to motherhood," which makes me feel even more worthless. I mean I really don't think motherhood is going to make me wish I could sleep forever because dreams are better than reality, but it makes me feel like maybe I just can't handle being a mom before baby is even here. If my depression isn't being compared to normal motherhood, other family members tell me "this should be the happiest time of your life, you're just hormonal." Again, I KNOW BETTER, but depression isn't logical and their statements make me feel like I'm already failing as a mom...like I'm not depressed at all, I just can't handle being/will be a terrible a mother.

Has any one else experienced this? I just feel so alone in this right now.

Self harm

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