Sounds bad!

Ok I've been between 180-190 since I was 16. I am 26 about to be 27. The weight is the main thing pcos people suffer from. I'm totally ok in my skin, but I'm dying for a baby. Been trying for almost 9 years. Everything I've tried to lose weight and ttc does not work! It's super annoying and stressful and btw makes me gain weight. Hence the 180-190 pound change constantly. The only thing I've found to help me lose weight is my job is working me to death. I'm lucky to have one day off in a week. This week I only have one day off because we are closed Christmas day, sad but true. I'm a waitress and normal shifts for everyone else is 4-6 hours. I on the other hand work 6-12 hours a day, with the added work of being the "children's coordinator" where I plan parties and work them plus do my serving shifts the same days. I'm working way over 40+ hours weekly and I feel like a zombie. I'm lucky to get a lunch break most days I have to eat while I work and I don't bother because you only get one bite of your food in an hour or its nasty and cold. So my point is I'm literally starving away. The only time I eat is when I get off work at night time btw. So I turned it into a positive. I drink water only while I'm at work and Gatorade all the time I'm home. Before switching to water and Gatorade I was down to 168. Haven't weighed myself in awhile I'm sure it's more now, I've had to buy clothes because I can't fit any of my old ones, including my undies lol. Unhealthy? Yes, but I have no choice and it's actually working.