Become more clingy to my fiancé?

Question

So my SO and I were seperated for about a month due to physical distance. I was in the hospital in another city due to mental illness. When it came close for me to come back home, I noticed that I started to have really bad insomnia. And I feel like I have to be around him all the time, and when I'm not I either get bored really easily or I just vegetate on the computer or video games. But when he spends like 10 minutes cuddling with me in bed, I fall asleep really fast and I just feel so much better when he's with me. I sleep the best when I fall asleep next to him. And its always been like this a little bit (I'm a very clingy person in general thanks to borderline personality disorder), but its just gotten so much worse and its weird. Why do you think it could've gotten worse?

Answer

Because he gives you the comfort and security you might not feel you have when you're alone. I'm the same with my SO, I usually don't sleep easily at all but whenever I'm with him I can't even keep my eyes open, day or night. :)

Answer

Mental illness is a powerful and difficult thing to deal with. I suffer from sever anxiety and panic attacks. Having someone in your life who is consistent and dependable is invaluable. In your case this is your SO. There is a difference between being a little clingy and being insecure with yourself. Your SO loves you the way that you are , 'imperfections' and all. If being close comforts you, then be close! Just don't let it be the only thing that can comfort you or feel supportive. And don't let yourself feel insecure or less worthy without it ( easier said than done sometimes, I know). Keeps the lines of communication open and make sure he knows that he can talk to you if he feels smothered or uncomfortable.

Answer

Do you maybe have some under lying anxiety about being engaged? Not in a bad way, but big life changes, good or bad, can trigger anxieties, compulsions, addictions... Getting engaged is a big one! When I got married, I had night terrors for a bit from the change.

Answer

I'm the same way with my boyfriend. I suffer from severe anxiety, and have been traumatized in many ways mentally by ex boyfriends. My relationship with my boyfriend is my first real, normal, consistent relationship where I'm showed unconditional love and I think for that reason I cling to him. I've never been clingy before but I find so much comfort in him that it's hard for me to be away from him. When I sleep alone, I'm up all night worrying, thinking, getting upset over nothing. But when I'm sleeping with him I'm asleep in minutes while he cuddles me.

I don't think there's anything too wrong with it. I would just say be careful, you don't want to rely on him too much for happiness or comfort. It's good to find other things that you can find that same happiness and comfort in. I'm in the process of trying to do this

Answer

Hopefully if you can figure out what's causing this, you can figure out a solution. It's not healthy for you to be so dependent on another person. If you can't sleep without being cuddled for ten minutes, that's not good. That's a problem. Not only are you not being self reliant, eventually your SO may feel put upon; the two of you becoming codependent. Relationships are the best when both people are mentally and emotionally ready to have a relationship. You're expecting him to be that person that completes you, when what you really should be doing its getting yourself stable emotionally and can take care of yourself. Being clingy is the fastest way to lose a BF.

Answer

It could be that you are subconsciously scared that you're going to lose him again and you just got him back so you just want to keep him as close as possible and want to stay as close as possible to him so that it reassures you that he's not going anywhere and neither are you.

Answer

I have BPD too, I get really clingy and then other times I just want nothing to do with him. It's frustrating to be with someone with BPD, but I am so grateful that my SO puts up with it for me!

Become more clingy to my fiancé?

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