Focusing on ME for a month...

So AF just showed her ugly face. I had symptoms but I truly already knew we were out this month. My hormones are off and I don't think I truly ovulated based on my bbt. This is our 5th month TTC. My dh is going to be out of the country during our fertile week this month so we won't be able to try in January. I'm going to start going to the gym and focus on myself for a bit. I knew this was taking a toll on me but I really broke down tonight... Even tho I knew there was zero chance I was pregnant!! 😂 the hope I live off of anymore... It's exhausting!! I also see my dr this month and I'm going to request some testing. Does anyone else experience pain during sex? And cramps on and off pretty much all month? With no ovulation this month or October and late O last month... Ugh. I just feel like my body is out of whack. This is a very random post ha but I'm just thinking (typing) out loud... Hard to keep the faith. My heart goes out to all of us waiting for that BFP and especially those who have been trying forever...my patience/faith is wearing thin. Blahhhhh 👎🏼😩