I still love you but I'm so hurt. Looking back on this year, I can't believe everything that I went through. The good thing is I can say that I at least don't want you anymore and I know not everyone stays with their first but I was really hoping we would be different. I realize now how different we are from one another but that doesn't stop me from thinking about what we could of had. I was pregnant Julian, I would never lie about that. A part of me hates how you blamed me and how you can move on so quickly while I'm here stuck in the aftermath alone. You don't do that to people you love Julian. You don't treat people like toys.. I really wanted to be a mother, I know I'm young but I would of loved that child regardless if you were in the picture or not. I wish I didn't stress so much, I have so much guilt and pain but you couldn't be there for me. I didn't even want us to try again, I just wanted you to know and listen. What makes me less human than you? I guess I just hope that one day you can truly say that you love someone other than yourself and actually mean it with your whole being. But until then I will continue to try and repair myself, I don't know how long that'll take and although I don't forgive you yet, I hope you find happiness because you are a miserable person. I just don't have the time or energy to hate anymore. Sincerely, M.