I just want to crawl into a hole 6 feet deep and stay there. It's officially been 9 years of ttc with nothing to show for it but a miscarriage, hundreds of negative pregnancy tests, millions of tears, and thousands of dollars spent on meds that don't work or made me so sick I stopped taking them, thousands spent on testing & scans, and thousands more on doctors who don't want to do their job, help me conceive, listen to anything we say, and would rather pawn me off to someone else....the run around and nasty circle continues with the next dr. It doesn't help the resentment that I have, has increased my mistrust in drs to an all time high, and has made my already severe depression so much worse. To top it off, I found out through social media a week ago that my younger sister, who has a few kids already, has been ttc with her SO for almost a year. I love those kids and it's not that she has to "clear" things with me, it's that she knows how I feel and I think she should have told me before posting "We've been ttc for almost a year & I'm late!" all over social media....a heads up a year ago would have been nice. I guess to say I'm hating life is an extreme understatement. Now where's that damn shovel so I can dig that hole and make my loved one's lives so much easier.