So my SO and I have been together for about 4 months. Everything was going well until Christmas break and I slowly started missing her. Certain days got really bad and my anxiety drove me to annoy her and make her angry. Today I said something that was pushing her too much and now I fell into a depressive state. She has forgiven me and said that if I keep doing these things I'll push her away. I asked her if she wanted to be left alone and she said yes so I would. I feel terrible for saying something that terrified her. Now my depression is making me want to lay in my bed for the rest of the day and stare at the ceiling until I hear from her again. She told me that I was definitely lonely but she's used to being a lone wolf and didn't know what to say. I understand that. My self esteem now has just gone from little to zero. Anyone have any advice or words that could cheer me up or be a better person for her?