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I say go for it.. But keep your glasses on.. Don't be blind. Just proceed with caution, don't sleep with him right away, take it one step at a time. Rumors aren't ways true.. And people change.
What would you do?
This is my first post and i'm kind of embarrassed, which is why i decided to add anonymously, i hope it's okay:)
I am currently dating a guy, whom I met through my sister's boyfriend. He is nothing but nice to me, attentive, kind, funny, blahblah and I enjoy spending time with him. Now, we've been on 4 dates and he keeps asking me out. Recently I met my sister's boyfriend and he told me quite a bit about this guy, which has me concerned. He is supposed to be a huge player, as in dating numerous girls at once and leaving them once they had sex... But he also said that he has never seen him put so much effort in as he has with me and usually by this time if he still hadn't has sex with the girl, he just leaves her. He told me these things, because he loves me as if I were his own sister and is worried I'll get hurt.
I am super unsure what to do with this information and the guy in general... I mean I really do like him but I am concerned. I had gotten out of a super shitty relationship like a year ago and I haven't really been interested in anyone before this guy. I just don't know if it's worth the risk. Maybe I'm overthinking it. :S
Has anyone been in such a situation? Do you ladies have any advice perhaps? What would you do in my shoes?
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I don't usually respond to threads but I thought I'd share my story. After being in a relationship for 8 years I was not ready for a boyfriend. I was happily single for about 8 months. Then I met this guy... I thought he was the best looking guy I had ever seen and too good looking for me. Anyway, he was a major player but I thought I'll just have a bit of fun. No need for a relationship. Anyway, we hit it off big time. He would always ask for the next date. I was always cautious and maybe held back a bit. In one way I think I was protecting myself but also thought it was too good to be true. We fell in love. Big time! Now, we are sooo sooo happily married and are expecting our first baby! He is so devoted to me and his friends have said how much he has changed. I asked him once 'why me, why wasn't I one of the girls he slept with then left?' As well as expressing his love for me he also replied with 'it was time' he had enough of fooling around and wanted to find something real. I suppose what I'm saying is- go for it. Life is too short. This could be the love of your life and the father of your children.
Ma
Oh my gosh this is exactly my story.
Idk. I mean me personally I have a waiting period for sex bc i think it should only be with someone i love. So that being said I made my current bf wait a year before I had sex with him so i knew he wasn't with me just for that. But it was a little easier since we were living in different states at the time. I would say take the chance bt hold out on sex or mention you arent that type of girl that just gives it up. Make him work for it! If a guy doesnt wanna wait then you know what his intentions were
I've been there, with my husband actually lol.He was definitely a huge player when we met, but I've always been of the mind that I would give anyone a chance, people change, sometimes rumors aren't true, etc. Anyway, I held myself back a little from him because of what I had been told by a close friends boyfriend, but he put so much effort into seeing me, taking me on dates and calling me, that he showed me he was really and truly interested. We ended up moving in together after 3 months, he proposed 3 months after that, and 6 months after that we were married. This May will be 9 years of marriage for us. The only advice I can really give is to keep an open mind. Things may work out and things may not, but if you shut him down because of his past you'll never know.
Me
Also, it never hurts to ask. I did with my husband and he told me that if I ever heard anything that made me worry or wonder about his past (or present) to ask him and he would tell me.
My husband (who I started dating when I was 16) was a huge player before me. I was never into that kind of guy even though it seemed every other girl was. When he first started talking to me I was not interested, but he put in so much effort even when I didn't give him what he wanted. Now we're married with a daughter and he's an amazing man. I've never had issues trusting him or thinking he was being unfaithful to me. You might just want to give it a shot!
Go on the date hold out on sex and see where it goes you never know he could be seeing that he has friends that are so happy with one girl..maybe he's ready to try something new and is very attracted to you... don't sell yourself short.. be careful but be open minded because your the only one who knows your pain and how much you can handle if he's right for you he will have no problem waiting if not he just wasn't the one...
Original poster here:) thank you all so much for the replies!!!! It helped me a ton. I decided to sort of go with the flow, aaaaand i started getting a pretty bad feeling about it all. We've been on one date since and he has now invited me over to his flat for dinner, which definitely screams sex for me... Well, i did tell him no, so I guess i'll find out his intentions either way now:D
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