Depressed and Anxious

I am feeling g a major disconnection from this pregnancy. This is my 3rd one. With my first my son's dad and I were on/off, mostly off but I was so excited of having him dispite the emotional roller coaster. Few years later I remarried and had my daughter. With her I was extremely excited couldn't wait to meet her since I first found out u was pregnant. This time around we were trying to have another but it just seems like everything about this pregnancy has been more sadness than happiness. From topics to child care expenses to tension and grudges between my husband and I. Please only nice comments. Ty